Monday 31 August 2015

A PRETTY USELESS ONE PARAGRAPH RPG THING

I made this whilst brainstorming rules for #HIVELIFE1979 (oh you haven't heard yet?) and came up with this as a fun experiment, kind of inspired by Ultima Online, what I played far too much of as a kid and +Oli Palmer. Not sure if this is ripping something off, I just needed to get it out of my brain.

Every character has 3 stats, Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, assign a d6, d8 and d12 to each. You roll one of those die when testing your attributes - needing a 5-7 for success, or 8-12 for success with a benefit. Everyone has HP equal to the max Strength Die. Each hit in combat deals 1 wound, 2 with Heavy weapons. Resolve landing hits as you would an attribute test. You can get armour die, d4 or d6, when you take a hit roll it, if you roll 4+ you ignore the damage.Wizards make up their own spells because they're wizards. Thieves get a +1 to any roll once per turn. Warriors start with 2 extra HP.

BOOM



Friday 21 August 2015

HIVE LIFE 1979 - its a thing.


"Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!

It isn't fit for humans now,

There isn't grass to graze a cow.

Swarm over, Death!"


Slough - by John Betjeman. 1937

HIVE LIFE 1979

The Iron Lady rules from Deep Bunker One, 3 miles below London's crater. The year is 1979 and welcome to Slough, the last remaining Hive city in Britain. Don't wander into the Ash waste. And yes, you too can experience the luxury of life inside a compulsory residency hive-facility.

The Tinfoil Brothers extort the market traders downtown, while Donny Muurda sells prohibited weapons from his bedsit compound. Yabber boys drive-by corners over dope and the punks, 2-Tones and greebos compete for tinnies of air at the Disco of Death.

Treasure maps scribbled in Porno mags, Gang warfare, Radioactive Slugs, Slag pits, Psychotic vending machines,Violence, Profuse apologies and Robot car-bombs are a part of daily life here.

And all the while the hive heaves upwards building on its waste, burying the past. 600 years of movement is a lot to forget, treasures from the Renaissance wait amongst unnameable terror for the daring - or desperate to find. Life can be short in Slough, whether you take a chance or not.


Sunday 16 August 2015

Foam Golem

Trigger warning - puns


Foam Golem's are commonly found being used by spurned lovers spiralling out of control, shitty adolescents who haven't got a clue what they're fucking with and completely deranged masochist that thinks its funny to watch you get smothered to death by a semi-sentient mattress.

The general procedure behind creating a foam golem is that you have to kill someone on the foam, and be casting ritual magickzzzz. Thus binding their animus and rage to the foam, bringing it to life.

Foam Golem have a close relationship with their creator, after all they killed it and brought it back as foam, that shits personal. If a creator gives the Foam Golem an order, but hasn't slept on it in the last 24 hours the Foam Golem will make a morale check, if it fails it will - flip out.

If you get a Foam Golem wet enough its weight will quadruple - with all its actions at a disadvantage, but damage doubled and with resistance to all non magical damage.